Merry Christmas—anybody?
No, I thought so.
Chatroom’s empty.
All my friends are AFK ["away from keyboard"]
My modem’s on, my screen is bright,
But no one’s there—it’s silent night.
I’m alone in the chatroom again.
They’re all busy with their families
Op’ning presents,
Singing carols, eating turkey
And mince pie.
So, have your fill of Christmas cheer
And when you’re done, I’ll still be here.
I’m alone in the chatroom for Christmas.
I met a girl online.
We hit it off.
I liked her fine.
She emailed me her picture. I sent mine.
She wrote she’d like to meet,
But that was when I got cold feet.
I think she’s a guy . . .
And FBI.
I’m okay, though. I’ve got reindeer
On my desktop.
I hear sleigh bells every time I
Click my mouse.
And colored lights—red, green, and blue
Are twinkling on my CPU. ["central processing unit"]
I’m alone in the chatroom for Christmas
The trees are filled with snow
The air is cold
The sky’s a-glow
I checked my webcam just an hour ago.
Been sitting here all day.
I know if I should step away,
Someone’ll come through
On ICQ! ["I Seek You"--an instant messaging service]
So I sit here every Christmas
At the keyboard.
Waiting for another person to sign in.
I lift my eggnog—here’s my toast:
The time of year I hate the most!
I’m alone in the chatroom for Christmas.
Yes, Christmas time is really hell
When all your friends are virtual
I’m alone in the chatroom for Christmas.